


she didn't know how to wait

by Keibell



Category: Hamilton - Fandom, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abuse, Cheating, F/M, Genderbend, Physical Abuse, Swearing, affair, domestic abuse, gender bend, hints of sex, say no to this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 10:02:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10462320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keibell/pseuds/Keibell
Summary: say no to this but genderbent. shit goes down





	

**Author's Note:**

> dang

There was never anything like summer in the city. 

Alexandra gritted her teeth as she slumped over her desk, quill in hand as she let out a groan. Her limbs felt weak and tired, yet she was awake, letting the cool mahogany of her desk sap away the warmth in her skin. 

She missed Elijah. They'd grown so distant recently, seeing as she was locked away in her room all day stressing and working and stressing and working. But she felt helpless to resolve the situation. 

And then there was Angelico. That was a tough one. Fuck. It hurt her brain to think about it. 

But then there was a knock on the door. Alexandra sighed, pulling on a robe and picking up her candle before she tread downstairs, opening the door with a mumbled 'hello?'

It was a man. Dressed in a ragged, scarlet jacket and loose pants. Small bruises and scrapes littered his hands. She raised an eyebrow, wrapping her robe around herself tighter. 

"Look, I know you're a woman of honour and I'm so sorry to bother you at your home..." He spoke, his voice low, desperate and warm. She looked him over again, taken aback. "But I don't know where to go and I'm by myself out here."

Alex blinked, her heart breaking at how nervous he sounded. 

"Uh huh?"

"See, my wife's not very considerate of me, right?" His voice shook, and he paused to clear his throat and gather a little more confidence. "She cheats on me, disappears, yells at me, and uh-"

She watches as he pulls back one of the curls of his thick brown hair, revealing a ring of thick purple bruise around his eye. 

She took in a breath through her teeth, causing him to flinch. 

"Yeah... She just suddenly got up and left while we were out, and I don't really know how I can go on like this and I'm scared she'll find me-"

His voice broke again, and her heart shattered, causing her to talk. That's what she always did when something stumped her. Talk, even if it was complete horseshit. 

"Look, Mister...?"

"Mark. Mark Reynolds."

"Mister Reynolds, I'm very sorry but I can't do much." She sighed, her heart leaping to her throat when she made eye contact with him. 

They were a rich brown. A little darker than Elijah's. 

"The most I can do is offer you a loan and walk you back to your house. I'm very sorry."

"You're too kind Ma'am. That would be enough. Thank you."

Something in her stopped. Like the pendulum inside her was frozen or a candle was blown out.

Something inside said no. 

But she ignored it. 

She ran upstairs, grabbing a few coins from her purse and wrapping a shawl around her shoulders before leaving the house, Mister Reynolds beside her. 

They chatted lightly, the male seeming nervous, yet friendly and strangely seductive. There was something off about his tone though, like he wasn't fully putting his heart into his words. 

"Oh." He stopped in his tracks, golden skin paling in the moonlight. "This one's mine Ma'am. Would you like a cup of tea? It's the least I could do."

Alexandra was weary, but then that annoying ache in her shoulder twinges again and she decided why not, what was the worst that could happen. 

He led her to a bedroom, where a small table held a dainty tea set, and he poured her a cup with shaking hands. 

They drank in near silence. The soft clatter of teacups on saucers echoing off the walls. 

He preferred to be called 'Mark' over 'Mister Reynolds.'

Alexandra still felt uneasy. Like she didn't trust herself. If she stayed here long enough with him who knows what might of happened. 

He definitely wasn't bad-looking. That was for sure. 

"Well, I should be heading back home-" She turned to open the door to the bedroom, only for a clatter to be heard from Mark. 

She paused, before looking at him. 

His shirt was in a heap on the floor, displaying the blue-and-green-bruise-mottled flesh of his abdomen, arms and chest. 

The injuries caused her to flinch, before he grabbed ahold of her wrist, soft and weak. She drew back, suddenly a little scared, as she clutched onto the doorknob. 

His face flushed red as he led her back into the room and towards the bed, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up. The waistband of his trousers dipped down a little in just that tantalising way. 

"Stay...?" He was blushing, those gorgeous, plump lips of his parted in a pant. 

No. No, what was she doing? She needed to leave. 

"Hey..." She wanted to bolt, tugging a little on the grip he had on her arm. Yet at the same time she wanted to stay. It had been so long since the last time she'd done anything like this. 

"Hey..?~"

She swallowed thickly, her skin prickling as he ran his hands over her waist, lightly, gently. 

Lord, tell her how to say no to this. 

But she didn't know how. 

His eyes were darker than her husbands and his hands rougher and his skin tanner. He looked helpless. 

And every fibre of her being was screaming hell yes. 

Alex grasped at the door, a breath leaving her lips as he dipped his head to her neck, leaving marks as he ran his hands through her hair. 

And she didn't push him away. 

She needed to go. Go. Go. Go. 

Get out of there, she screamed to herself, her walls collapsing down and crushing her. Crushing her lungs, her brain. With every nerve that came alive under his touch, a part of her died away. 

Elijah? Elijah who. 

And then those pretty red lips of his were on her's and she didn't say no. 

Her clothes were being tugged at, yanked off piece by piece as she took ahold of the situation, hands roaming hungrily as she pushed him onto the bed. 

Her mind screamed bloody murder, her hands shaking as fear or endorphins surged through her veins. 

Before she knew it, the deed was done and she was back home, stewing in her own regret. 

Oh, how she wished that was the last time. But it became a ritual of sorts. Relieve her stress, anger, frustration on this poor man just a block away. 

A month passed, and a new letter found itself in her mail box, between the letters from Elijah and Phillipa. It felt wrong just to look at them, making her want to vomit until nothing came out anymore. 

From a Mrs. Jane Reynolds. Even better, it read:

"Dear Ma'am,

I hope my letter finds you in good health, Mrs Hamilton, and in a fairly prosperous enough position to give your wishes and wealth to people like me, who are a little down on their luck. You see, Ma'am, that was my husband you decided to-"

Fuck. 

"Well, Mrs. Hamilton - if I can still call you that - it seems you have been making all sorts of mistakes, and taking me for a woman, who will take this lightly. We are a great deal alike, Ms. Alexandra, in that we both never stop until we get what we want. Well, is it that we are unable to stop, or that we just refuse to? All points aside, it's time to pay the price for the damage you caused. And, Ma'am, you can keep seeing my husband, if the price is right. And if not? Then I'm afraid Mr. Hamilton may run into some interesting news.

Yours faithfully,  
Jane Reynolds."

Alexandra ran to the bathroom, and threw up right then and there, the walls spinning around her as she clutched the letter in her hand. Tears pricked at her eyes as she rinsed out her mouth. 

She couldn't have done this. This couldn't get out to the press. It was hard enough to get to where she was now, and it may be damaging for a man to be caught like this but the press would have a field day with a woman. She'd never be able to show her face again. 

And after all, it wasn't her fault right?

No, it was. She just didn't want to believe it. 

And now she was angry. 

She stashed the letter behind a drawer, wrapping something around her for warmth and running to his house, barely stopping to pull on a pair of boots. 

She didn't knock, just opened the door. It wasn't locked. 

He stopped in the middle of the hallway, those beautiful dark eyes of his wide in fear, a new green and yellow blossom on his jawline. 

Alexandra was instantly filled with rage, screwing her face up as she balled up her shawl and clutched it in her fist. 

"How could you?" She hissed, taking a step forward, causing him to shuffle back a little. "How could you?!"

"N-No, Ma'am-!"

His hair was a mess, faded scars and marks spiralling over his skin, where it was visible. 

Tears filled her eyes, every emotion she'd ever felt spiralling inside her like some god-awful hurricane. 

Alex moved to open the door and leave again, before she broke down in front of this man. But a hand slammed into the door, just above her head, pinning it closed.

"You can't go, ma'am!"

She turned to him, tears rolling down her cheeks as she screamed at him, clenching her fists. 

"Was your whole story a goddamn set up?!"

"I don't know about any letter!" He shouted back, causing her to slide to the floor, pressing her fingers along her scalp. 

Slow down. God, FUCK, please. Why was everything so non-stop?

"Stop crying, goddamnit!" He sounded breathless, but still strong.

This was the goddamn eighteenth century. He could overpower her and they both knew it damn well. 

"Get up!" He commanded, crouching down in front of her, reaching out a hand, only for her to swipe him away. "I didn't know any better-!"

"Stop making excuses, I am ruined!" Alex bit back, pawing at her face, with the heels of her hands. Her palms came away wet. 

"You can't leave me with her, I'm helpless-"

She struggled to her feet, pressing her back to the door to try and get as much distance between them as possible, her heart pounding in her ears. 

"How could I do this?" She groaned to herself, her head felt it was being split in two. 

"Look, just give her what she wants and you can have me-!"

"I DON'T WANT YOU!"

He stepped closer, and she could feel her strength sap away. 

"Whatever you want-"

He was pleading, desperate. 

"I don't want you-!"

Did she?

"If you just pay her, you can stay with me-"

She didn't know. 

"I don't...-"

No! No! NO!

He was kissing her again, and she was kissing back. She was kissing back and she couldn't stop. She could feel his hands and his arms and his chest and his hair. 

She couldn't go. There was nowhere to go. Especially for people like her. 

What the fuck was she doing?

But when his body was on her's she didn't say no. 

Everything was on fire. 

The world was burning. 

Her husband was burning, her children were burning. The country she fought for was going up in flames. 

His hands were everywhere and so were her's. 

"Yes-"

"Yes..."

"Yes!"

"Yes~"

Stop. Say no. 

"Yes!"

She let the world burn. 

She didn't say no. 

Another letter arrived the next day and Alexandra slowly slipped in a cheque with the reply, her heart in her mouth. 

Nobody needed to know. 

The front door opened downstairs. 

"Alexandra, honey? We're back!"

"Mama!!"

Nobody needs to know.

**Author's Note:**

> kinda wrote this for my peeps doing a ham genderbend project. im seabury/lee/j reynolds/eacker. give it a look on yt!!


End file.
